Here is a little peak into how Taylor loved.
All my life, I spent time and energy seeking the approval and love of another man. I worked so hard for attention, affection and love. Yet, it seemed that nothing I could do would fill what I wanted. So I gave up. I gave up and told God I was done pining for it all. I was waiting. And then I met Taylor. And he showed me that the deepest form of love didn’t come from pining and working hard, the deepest form of love came from knowing the person’s soul. It is a gift. One that only God can give. The deepest form of love shouldn’t have to be earned. It is knowing and deeply loving another because of who they fully and completly are. All the wrongs and all the rights. Its loving their faults and making them better. Its seeing who they truly are in the eyes of God and cherishing them just as He does. Its throwing away complete self to love another. It’s not selfish, you don’t love for yourself. You love because you want your person to be loved.
Taylor didn’t just show me the truest and purest form of love between lovers. He also showed me how to love myself. I don’t know how he did it either. But he truly made me feel like I had worth. Not just in the eyes of people, but in the eyes of God. He called me his “Warrior Princess” and he treated me like one. He saw me as strong and independent and he wanted to fight alongside me. He never wanted to take away my power, he only wanted to empower. And that’s what he did. He treated me like a princess. He knew I was spoiled and he took care of me. He honored, respected and was loyal to my heart.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that Taylor was perfect by any means. But I am saying, that to me, he was. He was perfect for me. Why God allowed such a beautifully good thing to be taken away, in my life, I don’t understand. I do believe that truly the hardest part about losing Taylor, is losing our love. Taylor and I, the love we share, is non comparable and will never be replicated. It will never be seen again on earth. I know that every couple’s story is different and beautiful. I do not want to say that our love is nonexistent, because it’s still alive, but it is just very different. It is not the same, and it never will be again. But I know, and I want to believe that someday, someday it will be better. Someday I will see his face again. I know it will not be the same and its bitter to think about it now. But I can't understand heaven right now. In New Earth, all things will be made new. I am hanging on for that day. I wake up, and I breathe. Because I know that’s what he would want me to do. But sometimes the fact that I am breathing here and he is not, is the hardest part of living.
